Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I wish i know you better.
I wish things had happened earlier.
Now i'm just too sure.

Definitely.
Beyond grasp.

Serangoon garden study session.It's not so damn cold there afterall.I survived!
Saw Weishan and Marie.
Gosh.It has been 580 thousand yrs~~~
Coolness.

Coffee+cheesecake=)

I intended to write bout something but when i came online,i'm too flooded with people talking to me at one shot and got distracted by the 'bananas in pyjamas' email flyer that i forgot.

My brainspace needs expansion.

Monday, August 29, 2005

When things start to get to0 perfect.Everyone wants out.I want out.But it's not because things are getting perfect.You are trying too hard to make things work out the way you want it to,thinking it will be the best.Do you even know that i don't really seem to participate in all your effort in trying to make us close knitted?I don't even feel the closeness to any relatives i know.
Perfection is just an unattainable goal.So why try so hard to seek perfection?

Right now i don't need you to know what's going on with my life.Coz seriously i doubt my words will get through your head as intended.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

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Bertie is so vulgar.
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But its because i irritated him with weird vocabs once again.Hurhur!
He got bored,so he showed me his normal fingers.
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Which i don't have.The one above is mine.Hmm why is there an NTUC plastic bag behind?Weird.

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Bertie is so smug.I know his finger is normal.Nuff said.
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Coz here's mine. Check out the weird last finger again.

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Alrites.Nothing romantic bout this.-pukes-Bertie has big and wonderfully normal fingers.Which he is proud about.

And Bertie is so proud of his chinese,he offered to teach me how to write.And so we conversed in chinese.Don't fall off the chair as you go on....


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Goodness he made such a funny mistake.Leaf and coconut different k!
The black ink is written by me,the blue ink by Bertie.-laughs-
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OMG here comes another one.
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And he never learns his mistake.Goodness gracious just kill me.Hurhurs.
So i give up writing in chi to him alr coz he will write rubbish. And there were more mistakes,but i'm kind enuff not to disgrace him totally.Coz he treated me to maple biscuits.Which is the 'ye zi' i was trying to imply and he took it as coconut.WTH.

Somehow,the trust is no longer there.
You made me sound like a big fat liar.But hey,im running the week as per normal,just tt i'm eating air.Get it?

I feel hurt.By your words.Everytime.The less time i see you,the less pain i get.But you seem to find new ways to torture me.
Why can't i get a share of love?
I kept quiet.

And fark,i don't wanna cry anymore.

Friday, August 26, 2005

My brain is totally busted.
I have this set of weird vocabs running around happily in my brain.Yucks.
I think Bert shudders everytime i throw the vocabs to him.Hee eh ya his new name is Bertie.-runs-

Bertie bought me a whole big packet of lollipops today!So sweet of him.Eeeyea,can't believe i just typed that.I'm so tempted to eat em all,but i shall limit myself to a few per day.Otherwise i will get diabetes.Oh my.Touchwood.


I'm deceiving myself when i say i don't.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Third post for today,super incoherent stuff.
But

Perfect Ten is giving away tickets to The Perfect Catch!
And it's 4 tickets!
My goodness.
I want!
If i win it,i shall offer 2 to Wenlin.I'm so nice.=)

Loneliness Quotient: 51%

Your Personalized Assessment Report:

A score of 51 is certainly not the best, underscoring a definite need for improvement. Your loneliness appears to be rather high, and this ought to be addressed. One spot of weakness is your friend situation. Difficulties in this area are having an impact on your loneliness, and this is something that needs improvement. Luckily in your case, your family situation is not causing you any troubles. A positive family situation is definitely helpful. Your romantic life, however, needs work. There is a lot of room for improvement there, and you really need to search for that girl of your dreams. Thankfully you do not have a problem with shyness, so pursuing romantic leads and finding friends will not be as difficult as it might have been. You definitely don't have any major insecurity issues holding you back, so your pursuit of elimating loneliness will not be held back by this potential pitfall.

Take the Loneliness Quotient Test at Dating Diversions

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Am i supposed to understand anything from this sentence?

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you


I dont wish to try anymore.Coz when i do,i get hit and fall back to where i came from.Ouch.
Ouch ouch ouch

I should not love but be loved.That's so simple.

Someone just told me that my blog is the most boring blog ever.Oh wells what am i supposed to write now???

That i overheard two cheenafied ah lians talking in their lian-guage while i was washing my hands in the washroom?

That i saw two cute cheenafied boys who had piercings on their ears,and they are only in primary school?

That i saw 2 minahs and 2 mudds who were eating at mos when the food isnt halal?

Still kinda boring ain't it?
I ain't got a life!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I will be lying if i say i'm in control.
Coz now i'm letting you take me.
I can't stop now coz it has already begun.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The way people intepret things is unusually interesting.I don't blame them for misintepreting what i say/rant/write/bullshit about,but then again,when i know i'm being misintepreted,i so wanna tell em straight in the face what i really meant.

Don't go on pondering any further,coz you don't even know me.
Take my stuff and leave it intact.
Don't twist it.

I wonder how i landed myself in a complete mess.
The words somehow make me ponder whether i'm inflicting pain on myself once again.I shield myself away from most things,so that i won't end up filling my heart with regrets.In that way i don't have to feel so much.Superficiality is my forte,people take me as what they perceive me to be,and walk away without probing any further.I know it's partially me who refused to show my all,but then again,did you show me yours?The world seem happier this way,or it's just how people want me to be?

I'm already scarred,and the wounds don't seem to heal.This takes time,for sure,and the arrival of fresh wounds will only prolong my misery.I just need time to erase away the scars.
I'm not good with words,so there's no way anyone would know.I am opening myself up more,that's for sure.

How do you know when you haven't even try?
I only know that i'm not offered a chance to do so.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Waking up early in the morn is a chore.So much so that i have given up going to school already.
I love late nights but its not very very good for health.Tsk tsk.
And i love current late nights.

I'm a sucker for lollipops (Literal and non-literal sense=P).And since nobody's buying fer me,i might as well satisfy my own craving.It's quite sad actually.

I getting outta here already.The com is sucha bad technology ever invented for now.It's as bad as cigarettes.

I'll be back.At night.
Look out for me.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Emo.Emo.Emo.
Moments of solitude makes me emo.Drowned in thoughts.
And so i hate going home alone.

I aint got a wonderful past,n it just seems so wrong.
But don't i deserve a chance like everyone else?
I'm starting out slow,slower than anybody else.
Everybody has had their fair share.
Now where's mine?

-snaps-
I saw Denise Keller today=)

Tired,but today's great.

Saturday, August 20, 2005


You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Yups.

Never knew i could feel like this.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Alritey...that Adidas bag caught my eye.Damn it.
I want!

Retail therapy is BAD.
Unless i my partnership in betting works.
So my fellow gamblers,i lose u all shall die a horrible death.
hurhurs.

Ain't i scaring ya?
-laughs-

Sting.All for Love.

When it's love you give
(I'll be a man of good faith)
Then in love you live
(I'll make a stand, I won't break)
I'll be the rock you can build on
Be there when you're old, to have and to hold

When there's love inside
(I swear I'll always be strong)
Then there's a reason why
(I'll prove to you we belong)
I'll be the wall that protects you
From the wind and the rain
From the hurt and pain.

Let's make it all for one and all for love
Let the one you hold be the one you want
The one you need
'Cause when it's all for one it's one for all
When there's someone that should know
Then just let your feelings show
And make it all for one and all for love

When it's love you make
(I'll be the fire in your night)
Then it's love you take
(I will defend, I will fight)
I'll be there when you need me.
When honour's at stake, this vow I will make

That it's all for one and all for love
Let the one be the one you want
The one you need
'Cause when it's all for one it's one for all
When there's someone that should know
Then just let your feelings show
And make it all for one and all for love

Don't lay our love to rest
'Cause we could stand up to your test
We got everything and more than we had planned
More than the rivers that run the land
We've got it all in our hands

Now it's all for one and all for love
(It's all for love)
Let the one you hold be the one you want
The one you need
'Cause when it's all for one it's one for all
(It's one for all)
When there's someone that should know
Then just let your feelings show
When there's someone that you want
When there's someone that you need
Let's make it all, all for one and all for love

I seldom show how i feel towards people

Call it Afraid. Fear.

I'm afraid to speak out.
I'm afraid to feel.To throw my heart out,only to see damage done.
I'm afraid of getting something that i don't wish to hear.

I fear rejection.

I fear that somehow,i will lose.

So should i carry on,bearing uncertainties ahead?

guide me.
i've already let my guards down and am vulnerable.
I'm beginning to feel.And showing how i feel.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

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http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/thirteen/about.php

Though i ain't thirteen,it's pretty amazing how during adolescence,we change oh so much.
Will finish downloading it tomorrow.
Can't wait.

Monday, August 15, 2005

I don't wanna try too hard to fit in.
I don't wanna wreck what was once perfect.

Can anyone feel me,right here?
It's tough struggling alone all your life,living without people acknowledging you as their most trusted one.Trying oh so hard to fit in,end up being thrown out of the circle,altogether,unused,uncared,unfelt for.Nobody tried to feel.Maybe,just maybe,assurance is what i need,and i aint getting any,only assurances of being ditched.
Yes i fell,countless times,picked myself up and continue on.But what's there ahead?More backstabbings,names calling,superficiality and being used?

Seriously,i tried to forget.

But whenever people say i'm doing fine,i know i'm aint leading sucha good life,as smooth as many kid's life should be.

Back in sec sch,people are making friends,fitting in,leading the group.I tried to fit in.Yeah i didnt make the cut.
I tried again,but it was oh too late.
I missed my chances.Gone.

I'm too afraid to try anything else.
But i dun wanna miss another chance.

My heart jumped.Yes,jump....jumped.
For that moment i thought i would stone and be utterly speechless.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Alrite,my biological clock is officially screwed.I sleep at unearthly hours and wake up at ungodly unearthly time.This is bad bad bad.

I know i can't possibly get what i want when i don't tell that person how i really feel.
It just sucks cause i just ain't got that courage
So my life is just filled with ppl i yearned to have but will never stand to get.
So tell me,
Am i sucha loser?

Saturday, August 13, 2005

FARK
Stop saying you will leave me to die
Stop asking me to go and die

You are not obligated to bring me up know.
Stop treating me like a piece of JUNK

i need lotsa TLC right now.Badly.
I need huggs.

And i need to stop the tears from flowing.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Staying at home=Being tortured
One,being the target of naggings.Being hurled vulgarities by stupid sibling.
To think that i'm the eldest.Hmm.Whatever.
Two,not being fed and all.Not bothering to buy back your share of food in the afternoons.
One meal.Dinner.Coz dad's ard so there'll be food provided.
Imagine if i wake up blardy early and get starved to death the whole blardy day.I prefer waking up in the afternoon then,thankew.


Am eating pathetic baked beans out of a can right now.P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C

I will hit 45kg if this goes on.

Anyone who asks me out hafta treat me to a good feast.=)

Thursday, August 11, 2005

If i had an excuse,i will definitely use it.There's no need for anyone to churn out some lame rubbish lie for me.I am not afraid of getting into trouble.Coz i've already landed myself into lotsa deep shitload of troubles.

I hate it when people have the same stuff as me.Nahs it's ok when it's a coincindence,or i purposely bought the same thing for my sis,my friends or whoever.
Just don't intentionally grab something that i stated that i already want.
Thank you very much.

School sucks.I totally can't fit into school.

Saw your face
Your smile
I wanna remember
Your everything

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

A house full of screamings
Swearings
Cursings

Why am i still staying on?
Please let me be free.

FArk You.

I fell
Somebody pick me up
Dust me and i shall move on

OMFG it's 4.21am and i'm still so blardy awake.
And i will most probably wake up like early later on.Gonna find a place to study study study.Hmm.Yah maybe not.

C'mon wake up everyone!

Monday, August 08, 2005

BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm ok.I'm a happy girl now.I don't care already.
I find peace at night.
No naggings.
No screamings.
Just me and my playlist.

My no.13 gal shifted to Ang Mo Kio!Which means she'll be around my area!
Hoho one eye candy ard me.
Better not lemme see the ugly bf.EWwwWww.

Sis dearie:

Its hard i know.
We're both suffering very much in silence
Please don't be so pessimistic
If i did that very thing
That very stupid thing
I would not have existed now
Please don't be that stupid alrite
You've got lotsa friends
Unlike me.hahs.

Or best
Be fearful of blood like me!
hehs

We will pull through alrights
I've suffered much more i guess
Just that
I refuse to show to anyone

huggs.
We shall go get your converse sneaks sometime soon ya!

I want a normal family!

One where

Your mum wont pull out the cord of the house phone when u've only used it for 5 min.
Your dad won't freak your friends out.
Your dad won't leave so many scars in your teenage years.
Your mum won't embarass you in public.
Your parents won't torture you by not giving allowance and hide the atm card somewhere.
Your parents know u r hardworking and ain't gg poly coz its expensive.
Your parents know wassup with your studies


DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
tears flowed once again
i fought back but to no avail
tell me.
somebody will be there
hug me when im fallen

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Fireworks was nice.Yupyups.

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images courtesy of sis.=)my turn to be copycat.


Sometimes i wonder why i'm behaving this way
It's beyond self comprehension
For that moment
I just wanna leave

Saturday, August 06, 2005

I have a CAREBEAR a CAREBEAR its BIG its BIG its GREEN!
wahahas.

And i have this nice polo shirt worn by this cute Scottish gal.

Thanks bert!=)

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory!
i want CHARLIE!hE's so CUTE
-laughs-
watch it,it's awesome.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

The freezer(library) was comfy today!Coz the air-con was not working!!HeHe please don't repair it alrite=)

Intended to put off running to tml,but i suddenly remember bout my Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and my Vodka.More important than running they are,so haiya,hafta run today=(

And guess what?The park jussss beside my house is SCANDALOUS.Forever it will be.And i saw one uber disgusting scene today (no,it wasnt seen from my 18th floor window.That i've seen countless times.But luckily it's frm 18th storey so it isnt tt clear.-laughs-).So sit back and hear me out will ya?HeHe-grins-

Ok so i ran.Its a norm to hit the sit up station after the run.And so i walked towards the fitness corner,perspiring like mad.Apparently there's this couple walking along the park,hoping to search for a place to scandal around/go home,whichever the case it may be.

TURNS OUT THEY WASNT GONNA GO HOME.

I was walking behind em and they headed straight to the sit up station and SAT.I was like huhs?Scandal there?

No leh,the lady(pink) was adopting sit-up position.But what was weird was that the man friggin sat on her leg when she can jolly well hook her leg with a bar provided there.Hmmms.MAYBE he was gonna teach her do sit-ups.-laughs-

And so i headed to the monkey bar.I love monkey bars,but it was wet,So i stood up there fer awhile.
Oh there's this other man who was aiming for the sit-up station also.We ran in opposite directions and keep meeting each other.He stopped running at the same time as me and we sorta headed there like together and got very confused by the scene above.He walked around the fitness corner and kept staring at the couple,then turned to look at me,and back at them.As if i can offer him any explanation for what we were confused bout!

He aimed for my monkey bar and so i politely left and let him use.And he still cant stop staring........At the couple LARHS.I swear he was staring at em while doing his pull ups.tsktsk.It's a pretty disturbing scene i know.

deedums...i waited...and waited....my perspiration had already *voom!* evaporated into thin air.

I gave up.

I walked away,passing by the couple once again.This is their new position.
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WTF is this???!!
The man was rubbing the woman's stomach macham some physiotherapist.And the woman was MOANING larhs!Like having multiple orgasm on an inclined sit-up bench!So friggin disgusting can!

Like i said,the park is FOREVER SCANDALOUS.
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And we are pretty confused runners troubled by the scene today.Yesh,i cursed and sweared at the couple.(go get an inclined bed to do all these in your house can)

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Why Keni visit such cheenapokish site?My goodness...i almost puked!-faints-.I shall try to help Keni to promote her since it she termed her a sex siren.
www.sisterfurongjiejie.blogspot.com
C_I_A ppl.EWWs

MY GOODYNESS!
I think Lucy BOO(!) is hotter,Keni.