Thursday, May 04, 2006

Ah,been reading aunt agony stuff.Out of so many,these makes sense.

Insecurity is the root of jealousy. It manifests itself in different ways, but I think that it is usually rooted to who you are. The insecurities that you have about yourself or your relationship, no matter how unconscious you may be of them, materialize and project in the form of jealously. I looked back on my earlier post and I realized that because I wasn't 100% on certain aspects of my relationship, that the little jealous monster was rearing its ugly head.

brookem wrote:
I am in a situation at the moment where my girl friend is very chummy with her ex girlfriend who she was seeing for about 9 years, I find it incredibly difficult to see the relationship they still have. I know their history means they still want to chat but it is hard to sit by and not become jealous over the whole situation. My girlfriend is the first woman I have been with. In the straight world people get rid of their bf or gf and that is that, lesbians hang on forever and I find that kinda difficult.
How do other people deal with this situation, do ex partners become an issue in current situations?

toast responded:
Being together for such a long time, especially if it was a pretty supportive and mutually respectful relationship, will most likely create a strong bond of friendship that will last a long time even if relationship itself didn't. It doesn't mean that your girlfriend loves you any less - just that she is probably a very stable person who values good people in her life.

My advice to you would be to honestly tell your girlfriend how you feel, but also tell her that you are trying to come to terms with the fact that they are still close friends. If your gf really wants to be with you, and you with her, you will find a way to work through the awkwardness of the situation with respect and understanding. Even though it may be very hard.
Good luck. Come back and let us know how things go.